I've decided to become a pessimist -- being a realist is too
depressing.
Clarity doesn't breed poetry
Life Sucks.
Incompetent people would suck -- but they can't.
Mocking me isn't even cool.
You need help. I already have help.
Life is a mystery...and I love research!
Who here has a life?
Revenge is an art, and you are not yet cultured.
Creative? If she were creative she'd give herself a make-over.
The most beautiful dream is always forgotten.
We all want someone to hold us and tell us everything's going to
be ok, but what if it's not going to be ok?
We are only strong in comparison to others.
The smart money says that women kick butt.
Adaptation. We need it to survive. Learn from the Borg. The good
stuff, not the mass genocide.
I love my parents very much in a get the hell away from me sort
of way.
Friend: Man, I'd do anything she told me to! Me: It's just a matter of dividing what i know about her. Is she
the type of girl who would put the poison into her own goblet, or her
man's? It's all about the ass.
It's all a means to an ass.
I don't mind if a girl is anal, as long as it's a good
anal.
Are you extremely ugly? So much so that people would pay to
avoid having sex with you? Then you too could have a lucrative career as a
reverse prostitute!
Christianity has perverted so many simple pleasures.
You pay the prostitute to leave.
Laughter is everything. It's the opposite of suicide.
I'm re-sizing a window on my pants! (said while playing with an
optical mouse)
Get in touch with your inner bitch. Tap deep wells of cunning
cruelty.
Life's a bitch. It takes one to know one.
Me: Ashley and I are going to sell our babies. My parents are so quick to judge that if they met God they would
change religions.
Me: I really liked the idea of a breeding program in the Dune
series. Me: Did I tell you I have an original Nintendo? Older Friend: Who's your daddy!? The best view known to man. (Down the cleavage) If your parents are odd, then mine are prime.
Me: Can you explain what this means to me? Quickly? "You
could geek my ass under the table." And now you're going to die with that stupid hat on your head!
Quotes by my friends and myself.
Me: She'd
probably tell us to leave.
Friend: I'd like to think she'd throw the poison, gulp the wine, jump
in my lap, and we exit stage left.
Friend: erm,
that must be profitable.
Me: Oh, we're not doing it for the
money...
Friend: Yeah, I want to start one.
Me: Well I don't think anyone
would want your genes.
Female
Friend: Wow! Will you go on a date with me!?
Me: ...I doubt your motives, but
not your attractiveness. Yes.
Me: Probably you.
Older
Friend: Shutup!
Friend: It's like "drink my ass under
the table."
Friend: Only, rather than both drinking until one of you
collapses into unconsciousness
Friend: You both try to be geekier than the
other
Friend: She's implying that in such a contest, you would
win.
Friend: ...And you're disgusting for even thinking that.
Me:
well *shit*.
Me: Yah. Nice try ;-)