Know My Pain Ever fearful someone might see just how little I think of me. Some seem to think I have it all, but hopes like that topple and fall. Just look inside and see my heart, ever wishing my plans to thwart. Convinced that I deserve the hurt, some pain to cleanse away the dirt. Since Jesus died for all my sin why can I not just let Him win? Forgiven, yet deserving more, much too easy, rotten, my core. It should not be simple for me. Wanting to show others my pain, Cannot open myself again. What if they, upon seeing, agree? Not worth the effort to know me. And is this all in fact, a ruse? Do I reveal just chosen clues? Am I controlling all they think? To make them fear I'm near the brink. To get some pity, it feels good - and never acting as I should. Am I human, and do I feel? Or driven by a spinning wheel? I feel subhuman, can't you see. Come walk past me, I will look down - shame upon me, a long black gown. I will deny it, I must hide. Do not want help, just hurt inside. Do not help me, just let me die, all I deserve, lowly not high. Why do i even write this though? Others like me, please read and know that I, like you, have found favor. Jesus loves us, is our Savior, and though we see ourselves so wrong, and feel that we do not belong, belong to our Jesus do we. There is one who will see in you all the good things, all you can do. I know you need love, as do I, but we will find it, by and by. And do not ever end your life - gift eternal, His sacrifice. Did not God, for you His Son give, so that we forever might live? For trash God would make no such gift, so let this thought your spirits lift. Remember always, you are needed. Some look to you, your words heeded. you are loved by friends, and by He. (c)1998 by Robert H. Harrison