No Joy in the Writing


no joy in the writing
no meaning in the verse
the substance eludes me
by my skill am i cursed

my muse, my opponent
fueled by anger and fear
angst, pain and depression
always are hanging near

for my writing expresses
all that i cannot speak
my heart ever burdened
its relief do i seek

see my hurt and anxiety
feel my darkness and sin
and i hope you'll not hate me
or i'll hate myself then

if i did not write thus
so unending and free
then freedom would mock me
and no hope would i see

chained am i to the writing
in its links, sanity
ever grasping, but slipping
to my humanity

for the writing releases
the very words grant reprieve
in your eyes is forgiveness
or do even you deceive?

of this world i am weary
for here nothing is new
everything is forever
yet i still stumble through

in my prose i am searching
ever seeking the truth
restless, wounded, yet seeking
somewhere must be the proof



(c) 2002 Robert H. Harrison